I finished reading book number four on my 2009 reading list: Donald Miller’s Searching for God Knows What. Miller has proved once again that he writes the books and exact statements I wish I were capable of writing. This week I’ll be posting bits of the book I wish I’d written.

It seems that we feel we must trust people before we let them know anything remotely vulnerable about us, and to ask for more before trust has been built is to contravene a social etiquette dating back to the fall of man. All this, I suppose, is connected to the fact that our validation seems to always be in question.

And yet it is through this system of defense Christ walks with ease, never seeming to fear taht He would do damage by rummaging around in the tender complexity of a person’s identity. Instead, He goes nearly immediately to our greatest fears, our most injured spaces, and speaks into those places with authority.

Perhaps another argument in favor of radical honesty? Or maybe this is something Jesus was uniquely qualified to do. Makes me wonder where the line is drawn in our striving to be like Christ.

I just watched the pilot of Lie to Me, a new CSI-esque show about a psychologist that studies “microexpressions” to tell when someone is lying or telling the truth.

The show was suggested to me by a friend because one of the supporting characters practices the idea of radical honesty. However, I was more intrigued after the introduction to the show because everything he was saying sounded familiar.

After a bit of Googling, I realized that the main character’s background was being set up almost exactly the same as the life of Paul Ekman, who got a chapter-long profile in Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink, which I just read recently.

Nothing deep to say; I just thought it was a funny collection of coincidences. The show is fun and interesting and I’m curious to see where it goes. And I really hope they signed off with Ekman and Gladwell about this, because it’s practically plagiarism.

I was watching 30 Rock last Thursday. It was yet another episode where Liz Lemon goes on a first date and everything goes terribly wrong. But at the end of the date, instead of running away as fast as he could, her date said (in some form): “What if we just get everything out on the table now? Instead of covering everything up to look good in hopes of scoring the second date, maybe we should just get all of our problems out right now and if, by some stroke of luck, we don’t hate each other by the end of the night, then maybe we’ll know this could actually work.”

That character struck a chord with me by saying that. That general concept of radical honesty is one I think about often. I wonder: Why can’t we tell our friends what’s really going on in our lives? Why doesn’t my coworker just tell me he’s having problems at home so that I not only understand when his fuse is short but I have the opportunity to be a listening ear for him if need be?

And on the flip-side: Why do people have to exaggerate a problem or give excuses when the truth is they just can’t (or — heaven forbid — don’t want to) show up on time or do good quality work?

The truth is that doing this hurts. By being radically honest we run the risk of people taking advantage of our weaknesses. It requires a level of truth that perhaps isn’t achievable by imperfect people such as ourselves. But if we all did it together maybe we would all trust each other a bit more, we’d cooperate better, do better work, live more realistically. (Wow, that sounds cheesy and utopian-ish, doesn’t it?) Certainly there are downsides, but that’s life. Why cover up a downside with another downside by lying?

At my job we’ve started having monthly state-of-the-union type meetings; everyone seems to agree that, while it might be a time sink at times, it helps us see the big picture and know how we fit and understand better what our outlook should be in hard economic times.

A good friend just lost a job due for reasons whose foundations are not very clear to him and that may be faulty. Maybe he’d still have lost the job if those reasons had been stated, but at least he’d know for sure what happened and what he can work on and prevent and watch out for in future work situations.

A friend hasn’t admitted a major hurdle he’s facing in his life right now. I found out by alternate means and it’s explained some of his behavior as of late, though I still wish he’d told me in the first place so I could have acted accordingly in my interactions with him.

I recently read an article about a business man that practices radical honesty and I’m intrigued and kind of want to try it. Anybody else with me? It’s not something I can do alone.