To be wise is to be sad

I just stumbled across an old blog entry of my friend Tim that expressed my current attitude about faith, art, wisdom and understanding in ways that I never could express myself.

Tim was expounding on Ecclesiastes 1:18, which says:

For the greater my wisdom, the greater my grief. To increase knowledge only increases sorrow. (NLT)

Tim says:

To be a person striving towards intelligence is incredibly difficult unless you can close yourself to the outside world. It’s easy to be discouraged by those you witness who appear to be unable to comprehend the intricacies of art and theology. Even more so is those who may be able to understand these things if it weren’t for their own complacency. It’s a wretched path, because the further you go down, the less people you are able to relate with. I’m sure there are countless people out there who view me with the same shaking head and downtrodden spirit that I view others.

I couldn’t have said it better myself. As I continue to grow and discover who it is that I am, what I’m passionate about and why I must strive to grow in knowledge and wisdom as much as I can with these passions of mine, I grow increasingly frustrated by the lack of understanding I get from others. Trying to explain this wordless passion I have for music and how it deeply affects me is neither easy nor is it entirely possible.

From an optimist’s perspective, though, it might be said that in the realization of my own passions I’m beginning to understand what it is I desire and search out in the more intimate relationships I have with family and close friends. It also brought me peace to know that I’m not alone in my struggle, and that there is scripture that mirrors my frustration.